1.  E-mail subject lines

Is your skills about to expired?

The fix
Boring subject lines (and sloppy ones like the one above) won’t get your e-mail opened—and they reflect poorly on you. When you write subject lines for your business e-mails, think like a newspaper headline writer. Borrow from the brilliance of journalists who’ve spent years perfecting the art of attracting attention. For more inspiration, head over to your favorite newsstand and check out the cover lines (the teasing headlines on magazine covers). Some tricks of the trade you’ll find include:

1.   How-to: How to write like a pro in six easy steps
2.   Why: Why CEOs fail
3.   Questions: Do you need a tuneup?
4.   Statements: Creative business writing can distinguish you in a crowded marketplace
5.   Numbers: Seven Ways to …; Eight Tips for …; 10 Steps to …
6.   Controversy: Is creative business writing dead—or just on life support?
7.   Alliteration: Businesses borrow to better their bottom line

2.  E-mail sales proposal
If you are looking for articles with 100% original content then you have come to the right place. Here at Article Alliance we have been running an article writing service for the past few months now. Already we have been inundated with orders.  Whatever you need your article wrote about you will get exactly what you want and need with the help of our team.   

The fix
1. Nothing sounds worse than the wrong verb tense or subject/verb disagreement.
2. If you’re going to brag, make it sound more convincing than “we have been running an article writing service for the past few months.” Wow! In business since 2012!
3. Punctuation:
- 100 percent (spell out unless working on a financial or scientific document).
- “article-writing service” is a compound adjective that needs a hyphen to help readers understand.
- Introductory phrases usually require a comma after them.
4. Concise: Lots of extra words in this paragraph.
5. Cliché: “you have come to the right place.”

Are you looking for articles with 100 percent original content? At Article Alliance, we help you enjoy the benefits of professionally written articles without having to write them! Our team works with you to deliver exactly what you need.

3.  Sales proposal
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”  This is a very common remark from many who have the responsibility of maintaining a company’s reliance on wireless technology. With a primary focus on maintaining functionality while keeping costs down, many times the importance of new software technology is overlooked.

The fix
This starts with a cliché, but it works here because the writer is lamenting how often she hears this worn-out phrase. But the next sentence is passive and convoluted. And in the third sentence, the introductory phrase is left dangling without anyone or anything modifying it. The benefit of investing in new software needs to be clearly stated.

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” That familiar expression sums up the IT policy at many companies today. They think they’re keeping costs down, but are they? Too often, they overlook the importance of new software technology that can save them money in the long term.

Do you think it’s OK to use clichés? What about passive voice? When do you prefer passive to active?

Refresh your memory about hundreds of grammar and punctuation issues with The Writer’s Companion: Quick answers to common questions to help your writing—and career—soar. This easy-to-use e-book covers the most-common errors I see every day. It also includes tips and tools that help you write faster, stronger, better so you get the results you want.

Journalists are the Casanovas of nonfiction writing. They flirt with their readers with come-hither headlines, lure with their leads (first paragraphs), and court with the lyrical lilt of alliteration, creative wordplay, and robust calls to action.

I’ve been both a journalist and business writer, and I know how much journalists taught me about engaging my readers. Their tricks of the trade make your business writing more fun to write—and read—because it’s more conversational, creative, and compelling. That’s what it takes to rise above the onslaught of reports, e-mails, blogs, articles, and white papers flooding our inbox every day.

David Oglivy, the “father of advertising,” warned, “You cannot bore someone into buying your product.” In my business writing training and coaching, I paraphrase that as: “You cannot bore someone into reading your business letters, reports, proposals, newsletters, articles, blogs—even your e-mail.” (You wouldn’t believe how quickly people delete something they don’t like the looks of!)

Let’s take a look at how you can copy journalists to make your content more powerful and creative:

1. First, spend time in the magazine section of your local bookstore. Study the cover lines—those provocative headlines on the front cover of any publication from Cosmo to Inc. That will show you how to grab people’s attention. Back at your desk, use the same technique when writing e-mail subject lines and headlines for blogs, reports, articles, newsletters. “Get more out of your sales” becomes “Five ways to increase your revenue” and “Reorganize your office” becomes “Drowning in paper? Try our SOS (Simple Office System).”
2. Now, grab a cup of coffee and read an article or two. Notice the tone of the articles? Today’s journalism is conversational and approachable. You won’t find much jargon or convoluted phrasing here. (Hint: They get rid of that in the editing phase.)
3. Next, see all those subheads in bold?  They’re like mini-headlines every two or three paragraphs, and you want to make them as interesting as you would a headline. Add those to your documents to break up the content, make it easier on the eye, and attract skimmers. (We’re all skimmers these days, and subheads help draw us in.)
4. Finally, consider sidebars, a journalist’s best friend for tedious lists. Don’t clog your content—and your readers’ minds—with laundry lists of details. Put them in sidebars, those boxes that often accompany magazine and newspaper stories.  Studies show they are often more read than the body copy.

You too can woo with words—and make your readers fall in love with your content.

How do you attract readers? What tricks of the trade are your favorites?

Butchered business writing. I’ve got a million of ‘em. Examples of terrible business writing stream into my inbox, and I save them as often-amusing, sometimes-disturbing writing training examples.

One article-writing company is a wellspring of examples. (You’d think these e-mail gaffes couldn’t be good for business, but this company has been around for years. Go figure.)

Victim #1
Regardless of the type or scale of business you operate in, you need the help of marketing if you are going to make said business a success, but the question that remains now is do you know how to effectively do this?

Ouch! That sentence runs 42 words and rambles like a 3-year-old at the circus. Writing concisely is essential in today’s impatient e-world.  How about:

Do you know how to effectively market your business?

Ah. Nine words, same message.

Victim #2
Now for a one off payment of $39 you will have access to all of the knowledge you could possibly need to successfully market your business and gain a flood of new traffic to your website, which has the potential of turning into a flood of new customers and clients.

Same company, only now we’re up to 50 words. I guess this flood of words goes with the tortured theme of this sentence. And what is a “ one off payment”? The missing hyphen makes me stumble. But even “one-off” seems bloated; “only $39” tells me all I need to know.

For only $39, you’ll learn how to drive traffic to your website, where you can convert visitors into new customers and clients.

Only 22 words, and I’m more inclined to 1) read this and 2) respond.

Get concise later
Don’t worry about extra words in your first drafts. That’s when you want to let it rip to save time and tap into your creativity. But by the third or fourth drafts, take time to cut extra words and all those redundant words that say the same thing. (Just kidding. I know I don’t need “that say the same thing.”)  Delete adjectives that are virtually synonymous, e.g., active and energetic; exceptional and unique. Concise is only one step in the editing process. Get your free copy of my “Editing for Success Checklist” to help you edit like a pro.

Victim #3
We offer money back guarantees on all of the products that we sell.  If you are not completely satisfied with the product for any reason, simply return the unused and used portion for a refund.

I recently bought an herbal capsule from this company. When I read the fine print, I was astonished to find that in order to get my refund, I needed to produce not only the capsules left in the bottle, but the ones I’d ingested!  I don’t know whether this is simply bad writing or a legal loophole that means they don’t have to refund my money. On the other hand, I suppose I could substitute some of those regurgitated turkey vulture pellets mentioned in last week’s blog post!

Do you have any questions about writing more concisely? What are your thoughts about the other extreme so popular today: writing with terse bulleted phrases? Do you have any examples of outrageously bad offers?

I recently talked to a potential client about the power of storytelling. I wanted her to know just how much stories can influence and persuade in the workplace. We’re wired for stories. Why else do we remember stories ’round the campfire from so long ago?

I was getting no traction. Then the obvious made itself heard above the din: Tell her a story.

So, I shared with her how I’m still amazed that New York Times bestselling author Thomas Moore reviewed my book, Words at Work. That came about because I told him a story.

When I wrote him to ask for the endorsement, I reminded him that we’d met in Seattle at a book signing for his then-latest book, A Life at Work. He’d written inside my book: Don’t give up on joy in your work. On the trip home from the signing, I mulled over his inscription. Was it that obvious that I was burned out? I’d been a writer for 25 years, and I wanted to spend more time coaching business writing.

I told him that he inspired me to do just that. And that I’d written a book about business writing, a book my students and clients asked me to write because they were inspired by my stories of how, through trial and error, I’d achieved a successful writing career. (I also mentioned that his book Care of the Soul would always be one of the most important books in my life.)

Months went by, but I didn’t hear. I quit thinking about it.Then I received his letter:

Hello, Lynda,

Two days ago I got your letter and book in the mail. The letter was terrific, so I read the book and then noticed the date on your letter. You must have sent it eight months ago. Sending mail to authors via publishers can make snail mail look like express delivery. I like what you say in your book, and I have a passion for writing, so I’m happy to write an endorsement.

Thomas

If I’d written a typical letter and asked for an endorsement, I doubt he would have responded. He’s just too busy. But when we share our humanity through stories, they activate our brains in ways far more creative than the words we’re reading. (MRI tests confirm this.) Stories activate memories, trigger emotions, and resonate in personal ways that make our messages stick.

“Do you see the power and joy stories can bring?” I asked the woman listening on the phone.

Apparently not.

She soon offered a polite goodbye and hung up to return to “the way we’ve always done it.”

How about you? Do you believe in stories? If so, take advantage of stories in your business writing. Make a list of personal stories that resonate with you and then use them in letters and e-mail, articles and proposals. Oh, and for sure in your Web copy and blogs. Keep in mind, too, that stories set you apart since most people overlook this compelling tool for engaging readers and getting the results they want.

Besides, it’s a lot of fun to tell stories. They make your business writing more enjoyable to write and—even more importantly—to read.

Last month, I received a well-written sales letter about a new Web designer in the Bay Area. I didn’t anticipate any major changes on my site, but I filed it just in case. Funny how these things go–a week later I realized that I did need to make a change to my site. So, I e-mailed the designer and explained that I’d received his letter and would like to discuss some ideas with him.

The next day, I received this e-mail:

Sure. What do you need?

No hello, good-bye, thanks for contacting me. Just five terse words.

I like to give second chances, so I wrote back that I didn’t want to type it all out and wondered if he could call me. His response?

OK

No third chances. I waited a day and wrote back that I’d found a different solution. This time, I received the 21st-century mantra:

No problem.

By now, I’m picturing a guy who looks like the dude above. After all, I have only his words to form my impression. (Keep this in mind as you correspond with people who know you only by your business writing!)

And based on our e-mail exchange, I now know that he couldn’t have written that original sales letter. He probably hired a professional writer, which is fine. Delegation is key to maintaining a successful small business. But when you buy someone else’s business writing, make sure you’ve got a plan in place to follow up appropriately. Respondents to direct mail are gems who need to be warmly welcomed.

Instead of thinking you aren’t up to the writing task or don’t have the time, I want to encourage you to write your own templates for sales letters, FAQs, thank-you letters–whatever business writing you send out regularly. Templates save time and have your stamp on them. Tweak the templates till they convey not only the information but the spirit of your business, and then you can delegate to others the task of customizing and sending them.

To start the template, just get your thoughts down as fast as you can. Let it rip!  Then edit it several times (in short bursts instead of one long, grueling editing session). You’ll create something original, and your sales writing will be more in line with your company’s mission.  That way, when someone responds, you’ll feel more connected, and you’ll be able to answer them with more respect—in less time.

Here’s what Marcia Yudkin, an e-marketing expert I admire, says about outsourcing. (You can read her entire article on the subject at http://tinyurl.com/ezacase.) “Don’t outsource writing. People want to read articles with personality as well as content. Readers respond to your unique set of attitudes and information, which rarely comes across from a hired writer. And definitely don’t post lousy articles that are little more than keywords strung together in minimally interesting sentences. This just clogs the Internet with junk and wastes everyone’s time!”

Writers love to tell this joke:

A writer and brain surgeon meet at a cocktail party. The brain surgeon sips his martini and says, “I’m planning to take next summer off and write a book.”  The writer nods enthusiastically. “What a coincidence!” she says. “I’m planning to take next summer off and do brain surgery!”

Tell that joke to any writer, and you’ll be fast friends before you know it.

Writing is a profession, just like being an engineer, doctor, or teacher. And it takes time to perfect any profession. Of course, it’s easy to understand this notion that writing is something we just pick up. Writing has become so common, so everyday, we forget about the skill involved in effective business writing. Everyone pecks away at a keyboard or keypad, so everyone’s a writer, right?

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to exclude anyone from the writers’ club. No, everyone is welcome. But you do have to pay some dues. Like practice and dedication. And a sincere desire to write to your readers, not at them. (These days, we do a lot of the latter.)

To join our club, to craft thoughtful and effective business writing, you need to write and edit, especially edit, several drafts. Maybe even sleep on it. You need to offer your readers benefits and solutions, not all those features you’re so rightfully proud of. Don’t worry. When you write to your readers, you’ll get plenty of chances to tell them those things—but in a way that’s helpful to them.

That’s what makes you a real writer. And that’s what takes time and practice—like brain surgery.